What your favourite album of 2023 says about you
Do you like one-line reviews, not about any of this year’s albums themselves but rather about the kind of person who would call that album their favourite? Do you like sentences that someone probably should have subbed? Do you like desperate but failed attempts to follow the rule of three? Then you’ve come to the right place.
The 2022 edition is here, the 2021 edition is here and the 2020 edition is here. There are some earlier ones over at Shortlist.com if you’re that desperate.
First, a bit of housekeeping
Q: Why isn’t my favourite album here?
A: I forgot it came out this year, probably. I’ve had a lot on.
Q: How dare you?
A: It’s an attack on myself as much as it is an attack on you. Unless you’re a good friend, in which case just flip those two things.
Q: Did you write all of these?
A: No, I got some help from friends for a handful of them. Blame whoever you want
Q: Why are there so many entries
A: I need an editor
Q: Didn’t you include this exact Q&A last year?
A: No, I added this last question and answer to the 2023 version
Q: Shut up
A: Not really a question, but fair enough
Ok, here we go…
- 100 Gecs — 10,000 Gecs
You bought the Beatless Random Access Memories just to see if you can sync it to that cop falling down the slide
2. Arlo Parks — My Soft Machine
You listen to your old comedown playlist when you want background music for an afternoon nap
3. Avalon Emerson — & The Charm
You listen to your old afternoon nap playlist when you want background music for a comedown
4. bar italia — The Twits
You have pushed for a critical reevaluation of the movie Shooting Fish
5. Blondshell — Blondshell
You have sold your friends on multiple gigs this year by saying ‘Yeah but the singer’s really hot’
6. boygenius — The Record
You have created an ‘alternative’ Christmas playlist but Kelly Clarkson somehow snuck her way on
7. Caroline Polachek — Desire, I Want to Turn Into You
You have told strangers one of the characters in Saltburn was based on your ex
8. CMAT — Crazymad, For Me
You’re still annoyed they wasted the chance to get an actual catholic to write the West Side Story script for the latest remake
9. Danny Brown/JPEGMAFIA — Scaring the Hoes
You have a framed printout of a Zack Fox tweet above your desk
10. Doja Cat — Scarlet
You went to a Barbenheimer double bill but lied about which one you skipped depending on your audience
11. Evian Christ — Revanchist
You incorporated a PS1 memory card into your exhibition at the South London Gallery
12. Fall Out Boy — So Much (For) Stardust
You have said ‘Just say Jewish, this is taking forever’ more times than you have watched 30 Rock
13. The Gaslight Anthem — History Books
You went to a Halloween party in 2023 as ‘yourself in 2016’
14. HMLTD — The Worm
You have written three instalments of a series of novels, but each of them is part one of a different series
15. Holly Humberstone — Paint My Bedroom Black
When you say you were ‘born in the wrong era’ you meant you never had a chance to go to Camden Barfly aged 14
16. Hot Mulligan — Why Would I Watch
You own the BASEketball soundtrack on vinyl
17. Hundred Reasons — Glorious Sunset
Your ‘can’t help talking over women’ policy extends to the support at gigs
18. Janelle Monae — The Age of Pleasure
You introduced yourself at a party as an ‘aspiring guest lecturer’
19. Jeff Rosenstock — HELLMODE
You have debated whether it was worth explaining QAnon to a family member
20. Joanna Sternberg — I’ve Got Me
You went to the Will Sheff show at Bush Hall last month
21. Joy Anonymous — Cult Classics
You wish Fred Again would make something a bit less intense
22. Kara Jackson — Why Does the Earth Give us People to Love?
You have lobbied your local cinema to show a double bill of Aftersun and How to Have Sex for some reason
23. Kim Petras — Feed the Beast
You deleted the notes list of everyone you slept with during lockdown. In 2023 you started the list again
24. Lana Del Rey — Did You Know There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd
You have written an unpublished essay entitled ‘The socialist argument for the World Series of Poker’
25. ME REX — Giant Elk
You had an hour-long nostalgic reassessment of The Cooper Temple Clause in a group chat in November
26. The Menzingers — Some Of It Was True
You cried at the end of Clerks III
27. Mitski — The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We
You refused to sign up to TikTok because you were 33 years old, but now you’re 34 and ‘Need to use it for work’
28. Nabihah Iqbal — DREAMER
You don’t see why there’s any reason to delete the phone number of someone you slept with once after Planet Angel in 2012
29. The National — First Two Pages of Frankenstein
You get annoyed when a Paul Auster protagonist is older than you
30. Olivia Rodrigo — GUTS
You re-read the BuzzFeed article about Louis Tomlinson’s fake baby in 2023
31. Open Mike Eagle — another triumph of ghetto engineering
You are going to Outbreak Festival for the rap artists and you won’t shut up about it
32. Origami Angel — The Brightest Days
You have performed United States of Whatever at karaoke
33. Overmono — Good Lies
You didn’t know you can get MDMA for less than £80 a gram
34. Paramore — This is Why
You went to a Halloween party in 2016 as ‘yourself in 2023’
35. Romy — Mid Air
You grew up on NOW albums but only listened to CD 2
36. Sampha — Lahai
You have said ‘shh, we’re just getting to the good bit’ about your own work
37. Shit Present — What Still Gets Me
You spat out your drink when someone asked if you’re going to be canvassing for Labour again in 2024
38. Sleaford Mods — UK GRIM
You laughed a lot at the Matt Forde podcast
39. Sofia Kourtesis — Madres
Your dealer’s name is saved in your phone with a question mark, and you can’t remember if that’s because they spell it with one
40. Spanish Love Songs — No Joy
You drank a craft beer bar out of their best whisky
41. Sufjan Stevens — Javelin
You’re in the clear with this one, well done
42. SZA — SOS
You think ‘Album of the Year’ lists should include the previous December
43. Taylor Swift — Midnights (Til Dawn Edition)
You really like Taylor Swift
44. Taylor Swift — Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)
You are quite fond of Taylor Swift
45. Taylor Swift — 1989 (Taylor’s Version)
You used to really like Taylor Swift
46. We Are Scientists — Lobes
You have quoted Brandon Flowers in an academic essay
47. Yussef Dayes — Black Classical Music
You rewatched Rye Lane so you could smugly tell people what replaced the yoga café
